One interesting observation about Chinese people is that they don't seem to believe in waiting on line. It is always a race to the front unless waiting is strictly enforced. For example, take New York City's Grand Street & Canal Street train stations both located in the heart of New York City's Chinatown. These stations are always filled with Chinese people. During anytime of the day, if you find yourself on one of these platforms, you must brace yourself as the train pulls in to the station because it is complete chaos once the train doors separate.
Some Chinese people have gotten the science of "Being First" to a T. It all starts with the art of "boxing out" once the train becomes visible. Basically, everyone will start to inch closer and closer to the edge of the platform and elbows will start to "outline" personal territories in front of the doors. Even if you are fortunate enough to be standing exactly in front of the doors, it won't matter because within seconds some middle-aged Chinese lady with 50 red bags of groceries (a sure sign of the Chinese, remember red is lucky) will miraculously find a spot in front of you, ignoring your presence and the fact that you were there first. The funny thing is I don't think she feels she has done anything wrong and maybe she is just so focused that she can not even see me.
When the doors finally pull open, it is utter chaos. The mob will start to rush in even though passengers are trying to get out. It is so severe that I have witnessed more than a few instances where people were not able to get off until the next stop thus having to take another train backwards! For those successful in rushing in first, it all becomes a game of musical chairs, but instead of say 5 chairs for 6 players, there is usually 1 seat left and 20 people wanting to play. You can only imagine what's going to happen.
So next time you find yourself on Grand or Canal Street -- tired and hoping for a seat-- Get those elbows ready and GOOD LUCK
Dishwashers = Dish Closet
Chinese people are notorious for not adapting to common household conveniences. One such convenience, available in most homes and condos being sold today, is the dishwasher. The main reason why Chinese people don't use dishwashers is because they can hand wash dishes, so "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". The same reasoning goes for dryers, food processors, juicers and breadmakers.
Another reason for not using technological advances in everyday activities, perhaps more significant than the first, is the Chinese thrift factor. Chinese people are savers by nature and having to shell out for dishwashing tablets, electricity, gas (for the dryer component) and excess water is just too much. Especially since the alternative, hand washing, wiping and air drying, is effective enough. Most dishwashers, including my own, is used mainly for storing dishes and perhaps to air out some wet dishes after a good hand washing.
So for the Chinese, an image of a dishwasher will always be a nice pair of hands (with or without rubber gloves).
Chinese People ARE Good at Math
Pythagorean theorem, 2x + 6 = 30, isosceles triangles. Terms that bring a sense of nostalgia to Chinese people all over the US. It brings back such good memories because math was something I, in fact almost every Chinese person I know, was always good at. Just think back to your junior high school or high school math classes and you'll soon realize that this popular stereotype is actually true (of course, this only applies to schools that have Chinese students). We just have a thing for numbers. If you take all the SAT scores for Chinese people in the US, I would not be surprised if 95% of those scores had a higher math score when compared to verbal. Math always seemed intuitive and easy. It always just made sense. Whether it is algebra, geometry, trigonometry or even calculus, we find it equally unchallenging. Maybe the Chinese are genetically predisposed to excel in math? It is hard to find reasons not to think so.
I can still remember when my parents used to look at my high school calculus textbook and scoff at how this level of math was being taught in middle schools all over China. This usually progressed into a tirade on the slack educational system in the US and how the kids in China are getting a much better education. I've always wondered what type of math Chinese students would be doing in college if they studied calculus during middle school. To this day I still don't know, if you can shed any light on this, please do so in the comments section of this article.
Outwardly Unaffectionate Among Family
Every since I was a child, I would watch shows like Growing Pains and Charles in Charge and wonder why my family wasn't as warm and affectionate as those I see on TV. To this day I have not told my parents that "I love them", not because I do not care for them but rather because it would make everyone feel awkward. This goes for my siblings as well. I have other Chinese friends who have similar experiences so I figure it must be a Chinese cultural thing.
Like I said before, it is not that the parents don't like their kids or vice versa but rather family love is expressed differently in Chinese society. The way Chinese parents show that they love their kids is by cooking huge meals or catering to their needs. My dad and I have never hugged or reciprocated verbal expressions of love but every time I come home for dinner, there is a feast of my favorite foods waiting for me. Another popular sign of affection among the Chinese, is a phenomenon I call chauffeuring. I have noticed that Chinese parents make up for a bulk of the people waiting in cars outside of schools and workplaces where there are Chinese people.
An interesting observation related to awkwardness towards public displays of affection is whenever the entire family is watching TV or a movie and a sex scene comes on, I will usually try to remove myself from the room or somehow change the channel. It doesn't even have to contain nudity, the suggestions of raunchy action is enough to make things extremely awkward. Even to this day, when I visit my parents, I become extremely uncomfortable when such scenes come on the TV.
Of course Americanized Chinese households might have a different experience but I believe embedded in Chinese tradition is a type of unspoken taboo against public displays of affection. Although expressions of affection has its place, I personally enjoy the way things are now (no outward displays of affection among my family) and would be completely mortified if my parents all of a sudden became more like Mr. and Mrs. Seaver.
ABCs vs FOBs
The epic battle between ABCs (American Born Chinese) and FOBs (Fresh Off the Boat) have been going on ever since I can remember. Racism within one's ethnic group somehow always seems to be more widespread than those from people outside the ethnic group (Chris Rock's famous Black People vs. N@&&$$! stand up bit). When Chinese kids in America become teenagers, they are forced to choose a side, either ABC or FOB, each group extremely critical of the other. The bitterness of the rivalries are pretty strong but lessens dramatically with age as people from both groups mature and focus on other things.
ABCs are embarrassed by FOBs and use the term in a very derogatory way. If you do something embarrassingly Chinese, you're a FOB. FOBs make fun of the fact that ABCs can't speak Chinese despite the fact that they are Chinese. They don't understand why ABCs tend to act so "white" or so "black". Their mutual dislike for each other explains why ABCs and FOBs rarely coexist in the same cliques.
The major distinction between ABCs and FOBs is their ability to speak English. If you prefer to speak Chinese during casual conversation and when you do use English it is with an accent, you are almost immediately identified as a FOB even if you have the most Americanized lifestyle or you have been living in the United States for decades. ABCs on the other hand speak English almost exclusively even when someone is speaking to them in Chinese. For those who do understand Chinese, it is very limited and contains almost no Chinese colloquial sayings. They are also pretty ignorant to most Chinese cultural events and holidays.
These days it is easier to recognize ABCs and FOBs by outward appearances. Hair is probably the best way to differentiate between the two groups. FOBs have very funky hairstyles mimicking those of Japanese and Korean teens who mimic the hairstyles of anime and video game characters. Their hair is usually long and requires high maintenance. ABCs usually have more traditional spiky hair, mohawks or Italian style blowouts. Their hair is usually short and clean cut.
Clothes is another good way to tell ABCs and FOBs apart. Most FOBs like to wear Japanese-style funky clothing. Male FOBs sport the Hong Kong Superstar metrosexual look while female FOBs enjoy wearing striped shirts with overalls and other Japanese inspired looks. ABCs tend to dress in more Americanized styles either reflecting the "hip-hop" clothing style, Abercrombie and Fitch style, Performance Gear (North Face and Nike) style or the young professional styles found at Express and Banana Republic. Although clothing and hairstyles are a good way to distinguish between FOBs and ABCs, their ability to speak English is still the most accurate.
There is much peer pressure against ABC-FOB relationships. ABCs will usually never date a FOB no matter how attractive they are because the peer pressure is usually too great. Those that do date, either do so in secret, or isolate themselves from both groups. This is similar to the forbidden love found in Romeo and Juliet without the tragic ending.
Last interesting topic - Crossovers. Crossovers are Chinese young adults that were born or raised at a young age in the USA but love Chinese culture or FOBs that have crossed over to become very Americanized. Crossovers speak perfect English but love Chinese music and are knowledgeable about Chinese traditions and culture (food, holidays, Chinese soup). They can also read and write Chinese and have many FOB like tendencies. To ABCs, crossovers may be considered FOBs although they are always thrown off when they speak English. The only criteria for a successful crossover for FOBs is to get rid of their accents.
This internal division among Chinese Americans will probably persist for ages to come. Which side are you on?
Bill for Dinner, Round 1, Fight!
If you ever go to a Chinese restaurant for dinner and take a look around, I am positive that you will see at least one table where people are wrestling for the check. This may seem paradoxical since Chinese people are usually pretty frugal (check out the Dishwasher Article) but in Chinese culture, there is one thing that trumps all other Chinese-related behavior. For the Chinese it is all about "face" (面子, pronounced mian zi in mandarin and Meen Ji in Cantonese). Treating for dinner makes you the BMATT (Big Man at the Table) and you are usually showered with thanks and appreciation after the rival part concedes. The fights are especially fierce among parents of children who are dating. Distant relatives or adult acquaintances dining together also have their fair share of check wrestling. Most of the time the battle is between the main "representative" of each group or family, which is usually the father although these duties may be handled by the oldest son/daughter.
So what is the best way to secure the bill? The most common and popular strategy to secure the bill is to grab it from the waiter's/waitresses' hand and then immediately put the check behind your back while fending off the other arms trying to grab for the check. Another more effective strategy is to just approach the cashier and pay for the bill before the dinner ends during one of your "bathroom breaks". For me, I personally like to just sit and watch the action and wait for my chance to shower my appreciation and thanks on the victorious party. Although as I become older and have my own family, I'm sure I will have my share of "end of dinner at a Chinese restaurant" battles.
Good luck to all the people fighting to pay for dinner (what a weird blessing)! May the tips in this article give you the upper hand at your next fight for the bill.
Practical Jobs
Chinese families have always placed a heavy emphasis on practical jobs. Chinese parents just can't understand college majors that don't lead to "successful" jobs. Occupations fitting the mold are Doctors, Lawyers, Engineers, Computer Science/Programmer, Pharmacists and Finance/Business related jobs. Technical schools such as those for Architecture, Hotel/Restaurant Management and Dentistry are also accepted. College majors that traditional Chinese parents and relatives understand are pre-med, economics, business, math and any type of engineering or physical science related major.
Naturally this would lead to ignorance and disdain for the more "useless" liberal arts majors such as sociology, Asian studies, any languages, art, performing arts, history, etc. Chinese people can't understand majors that do not translate into a practical job. If you have a liberal arts major, the best way to save yourself the trouble of having to explain to the older traditional Chinese is to say you are going to become a lawyer. Being a Spanish major means nothing to Chinese parents but being a Spanish major with the intent of going to Law School is infinitely more respectable (in Chinese eyes of course, no offense to Spanish majors).
Although this may seem ridiculous to some, just look at the percentage of Chinese people for each major and I guarantee that it will be heavily skewed to the more "practical" majors. If you are Chinese, just look at what major you and your other Chinese friends chose to pursue. I'm pretty Americanized yet my major was Chemistry and Economics during college and most of the Chinese people I knew were engineers, math, economics or in physical science majors.
One thing that ranks higher than obtaining practical jobs on the Chinese list of priorities is the stability and safety of a certain occupation. Chinese parents love their children and they also expect them to take care of them when they become old (more on this in another article) so any job that may have inherent risks and dangers are frowned upon. Positions that are consider dangerous and/or heavily frowned upon are policemen, firemen, inner city teachers and positions that pay solely on commission (including freelance work) and have no health benefits.
Perhaps one day, Chinese people will break out of this mold and accept more liberal arts majors but having many of these beliefs hard-wired into our system, I wouldn't hold my breath.
C.R.E.A.M. - Dolla Dolla Bill Y'all
The Wu Tang Clan must have been singing about their Chinese roots when they released C.R.E.A.M. (Cash Rule Everything Around Me) because most Chinese prefer to deal in cash. Chinese people truly dislike borrowing money and being indebted to someone because it is embarrassing and it makes them seem weak. There is a general mistrust of credit among the Chinese which is exemplified in these Chinese proverbs:
"A good debt is not as good as no debt"
"Free from debt is free from care"
Another good reason for exclusively using cash is the power cash has when haggling and negotiating prices for consumer goods and services. Chinese people can't resist bargains and discounts so naturally they would gravitate towards cash (Try bargaining with a credit or debit card). A third reason is that many Chinese immigrant workers get paid in cash, so in order to avoid leaving a "paper trail" come tax time, they solely use cash. If they use credit/debit cards or checks, it is easy to figure out exactly how much they are spending.
I am sure there are many other reasons but whatever the reasons, in the eyes of the Chinese, Cash is King.
Avoidance of Confrontation
Some people love looking for and starting trouble, Chinese people on the other hand strive hard to avoid confrontations AT ALL COSTS. You would be hard pressed to see a Chinese person asking for a store's managers or raising his/her voice in public when they are wronged. Usually Chinese people just "let things go" and go on with their merry lives. This non-confrontational attitude has its pros and cons. On the one hand, being passive avoids huge escalations or time consuming arguments. On the other hand, this passiveness can be taken advantage of as Chinese people become known as being pushovers. This would explain the "Chinese (Asian) Workhorse" phenomenon of any non-Chinese firm. Let's take a look at why Chinese people hate confrontations:
Reasons Why the Chinese are Non-Confrontational
Chinese People Dislike Scrutiny - Most Chinese people are known to engage in somewhat questionable activities such as bootlegging and tax evasion (Chinese people live in a CASH dominated society) so naturally they prefer to stay in the shadows.
Not Worth the Trouble - In addition to disliking scrutiny, Chinese people hate it when other people get into their business. They like to minimize the amount of people involved even if it is the costlier alternative. For Example: If you ever get into a car accident with a Chinese person, most likely they would like to handle the situation without calling the police and without involving the insurance companies. Many times this may prove to be more expensive than the increase in their insurance premium.
Xenophobic - In America, Chinese people will avoid confrontation with foreigners at all costs. In general, the Chinese don't like dealing with foreigners (Chinese people hate teaching things to the "Gwai Lo" - Cantonese for foreigner).
Our Upbringing - My parents dislike confrontation and so did my parents' parents. I was always raised to not make a fuss and just "let it go" so naturally that is what I am inclined to do.
Losing Face and Embarrassment - Generally, it is considered embarrassing to cause a scene. All confrontations should be done behind closed doors. To "act a fool" in public will cause your a loss of face for you and your family which is taboo among traditional Chinese people.
Let's face it, Chinese people are non confrontational. Next time, there is a public confrontation, it is safe to say, Chinese people aren't involved (unless it's in Chinatown).
Light Skin Beautites---Paler the Better
I recently made a trip to China and was exposed to a phenomenon that surprised me. Chinese people find light skin tones infinitely more attractive than darker ones. This seemed strange to me since everyone I know in the US is always trying to get a nice tan and people who are pale are usually considered "not as attractive" and "unhealthy". As every major city in the US is infested with tanning salons, I did not see any while I was in China.
This phenomenon is also evident in the realm of beauty products where many American products are geared towards "bronzing" the skin while Chinese beauty products usually aim to whiten the skin. When I met up with my relatives in China, they immediately mentioned skin tones when referring to each other's beauty. "Your skin is so nice and white" and "Why is your skin so dark?" was frequently asked of the children and young adults by their elders. It is almost comedic and vampire-like to watch droves of Chinese people walk in a narrow shaded walkway or tote umbrellas on the sunniest days just to avoid the sun.
Although I may be completely wrong, I think this obsession with white skin has to do with the fact that in olden times any body with a tan was associated with manual labor and peasantry therefore having pale skin was a sign of your wealth. It seems that this type of thinking is still very prevalent in China today. Also as controversial as this may sound, this might be the basis for the somewhat bias attitude Chinese people have towards races of darker skin colors.
For those who don't believe me, just take a trip to China and you'll know what I mean.
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